As most of you know, we’re in the process of relocating. Zion Bible College, where my husband and I are in ministry, has been blessed by the gift of a new campus. Consequently, as a family, the 5 of us - and the Zion family, we’re in transition.
My oldest daughter, Anna, is the only one of our kids who is old enough to understand the ramifications of what is commencing. And, understandably, she’s having a bit of a tough time. I have to say, she’s really handling it well. But last week, she began to visibly struggle with it more. It was the last day of school. She realized that this was the last time she’d see most of her classmates and when I came to pick her up to go home - she very quietly melted down in the back of the van. So quietly I didn’t realize she was even crying. That’s how I knew it was genuine (most of the time it’s with great dramatics). Her heart was breaking.
How do you help a child in these difficult times? For me, it was important not to make promises I knew we couldn’t keep. I’ve never promised, or offered that we might come back here and maybe she could see her friends again. That’s pretty sure not to happen. Conversely, what I keep focusing on are the positives - the greatest of which is our assurance that we will allow her to begin getting involved at the local horse stable near our new house. I’m not planning on putting her into horseback riding lessons, but I am hoping to let her go work at the stable sometimes by taking care of the horses - learning how to feed them, muck their stalls, groom them, etc. Her other big anticipation is our new house. We will be blessed to live in a house, versus our current apartment situation. This means much more room for all of us - something we are all looking forward to.
The lesson here: when your kids struggle with life’s situations, focus on the positives. Allow them to be sad. You can even let them know you are a little sad, too. Don’t be fake. But help them to dwell on the good things. There’s biblical precedent for this, you know, in Philippians 4:6-8 [MSG]:
Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, let God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious - the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.
June 25, 2008 at 1:06 pm
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July 2, 2008 at 7:12 pm
It could be a wonderful idea, to let Anna begin riding. There is a real sense of personal power and joy, in being master of a 1000 lb animal. Building up confidence and self-esteem, riding is an admirable skill and an enjoyment she can have for the rest of her life.
I myself am involved in saving horses from slaughter, and I have four rescued equines of my own. It’s good for the heart and soul, to take care of horses. I bet your daughter just falls in love with them. It will be a powerful cure for her broken heart, and a transition I bet she never forgets, but in a good way — later, after the worst is over.
I found your blog through WordPress’
“random blog” feature, and it’s wonderful. God bless you and your family. As long as you have each other, you will be fine no matter where you go.
E.M.
July 3, 2008 at 9:26 pm
I’m so glad to hear you “stumbled” upon my blog and thanks for your comment!
I am quite sure Anna will eventually begin riding, but to begin we want her to just spend time around horses, as she’s actually done very little of that. As she begins to learn equestrian skills and safety, it will most likely develop.
Blessings upon you as well!
July 3, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Thank you! : )
It sounds like a great plan. A good riding program is very careful with the children, and necesarily so because horses are big!
Also, a good riding program will put a lot of emphasis on both ground-rules, grooming, horse care, learning the parts of the horse, hoof-picking, readying a horse for riding, tacking up the horse, besides in-saddle skills.
The best riders I’ve ever seen started riding as children. And it’s a skill and a joy many don’t outgrow.
As horse people say, every horse should be loved by a little girl at least once in its life.
My girlfriend just started her seven year old riding; she takes lessons, and last summer went to daily horse camp. It’s all the little girl talks about. : )
My girlfriend also goes on mother-daughter rides, which mean the world to her and her daughter, Jordan.
Good luck with your move! I hope it goes smoothly for your whole family.
E.M.